Disillusionment of Love: You Glamorize, Idolize, and Worship a Person Because of Your Own Pleasure

You glamorize, idolize, and worship a person because of your own pleasure. You receive such an addictive and pleasurable feelings from that illusion that you ignore all negative real feedbacks that suggest that your idol is not perfect (and sometimes is even grotesquely flawed). The real problem is that you do not want to let that beautiful illusion disappear because those illusions are the source of your comfort. But a healthy reaction would be that you separate the person from the ideal beauty that that person was representing in your mind. In other words, you should separate W1 person from the W2 image of that person in your mind. You should tell yourself "that I still love the beautiful image of that idol that I created in my mind (W2 image), but that person (W1 entity) was not even close to the idol that I really love. I will continue to search for such an idol" and " I am thankful that the flawed person was a conduit that helped me to create such a beautiful W2 image, but I avoid this person from now on because If I keep in touch with such a flawed person, I enter the realm of love and hate."
Why the realm of love and hate? Because after disillusionment, you start to focus on the flaws. This flawed idol makes you angry, confused, or even mad. On the one hand, you love that idol because it has been a source of addictive pleasure for you for such a long time. On the other hand, you hate that person because he or she caused you pain. This person destroyed parts of your castle of thoughts, your self-confidence, and your self-image. You blame yourself and doubt your own sound judgment because you chose such a flawed person. Moreover, all these make you pessimistic toward your future relationships. Continuing to see the flawed person destroys the perfect mental idol that you have created. You need to keep that standard of beauty (and the image of an angel) as an aspiration for your future relationships and as a beacon of hope for future. After all, these dreams and hopes (even illusions) are our only source of extreme pleasure and hope. Even unrealistic dreams can serve us. Many times, we dream the world, as we want it to be, not as it is. However, if we easily proved wrong, we suffer much more.

Hope Is a Promise of Future Meaning and Future Pleasure

Happiness means living in a beautiful reality. A beautiful reality has a beautiful past, present, and future. A beautiful past is not necessarily devoid of suffering. The totality and meaning of the past should be beautiful. The present interpretations of the past should be beautiful.
Hope is a promise of future meaning and future pleasure. The extreme happiness is not possible without the hope of future meaning and pleasure. Where the future is unknown and death is a mystery, hope is not attained effortlessly.

Pleasure, Beauty, or Both

Student: What is the most important thing in the world?
Nez: Creation of beauty and pursuit of beauty are the most important things in the universe. You have preferences. You discover the preferences that lead to the most beautiful qualitative experiences most of the times.
Student: What do you mean most of the times?
Nez: To make it clear, I give you an example. Drugs may temporarily provide you with ecstatic experiences, but they also bring more harm and suffering in long-term. On the contrary, you go though the hardships of education, but you reap the benefits for a lifetime.
Student: What is beauty?
Nez: Beauty for you is what you prefer most of the times. Beautiful is a thing, a scene, an idea, or anything that the feeler’s algorithm evaluates as preferable. As I mentioned before, your W1 and W2 bodies give rise to your feeler’s algorithm and your taste in beauty. Therefore, when your W1 body changes or when your W2 body changes, your taste in beauty changes. For instance when you become educated in visual art (gain visual literacy), you can enjoy much more from the nuances and beauty of artworks. W1 body also contributes greatly to the feeler’s algorithm. You find meat delicious, while a cow finds vegetation delicious.
Even a person’s inherited evolutionary biology as a part of W1 body affects your preferences. Why most mothers love their children? Because a mother has such an evolutionary or acquired preference. For a mother devotion is a beautiful preference.
Student: What is the difference between pleasure and beauty?
Nez: Beauty and pleasure are almost the same. Every preferred composition either creates W1 pleasure or W2 pleasure. W2 pleasure is a beautiful meaning that mind perceives. Pleasure of body is the preference of W1 composition, and pleasure of mind is a beautiful meaning, preferable by your W2 composition.